The Orland Park Public Library is continuously offering programs and services to help all levels of need within its local community.
The library, 14921 S. Ravinia Ave., is hosting a Dementia: Caregiver Support Group on Mondays at 1 p.m.
The free program is designed for those caring for a loved one with dementia. Caregivers are encouraged to come out to relax, share, learn and get connected to both fellow caregivers and local experts.
“A few years ago, Orland Park became a Dementia Friendly Community,” Sarah Kleiva, community engagement manager at the Orland Park Public Library, said. “The library contributed to the initiative by providing educational programming about dementia and dementia caregiving. The response in the community to these programs was huge. Attendees kept asking about where they could find local, in-person support groups. At that time most meetings were via zoom and specific to any particular city.”
The library began by offering one single-hour support group once a month. Attendance was high, so staff made the decision to increase the program to two hour and a half groups that meet twice a month.
“When most people come to their first meeting they are often at wit’s end,” Kleiva said. “Caregiving for a person with Dementia is a 24/7 job, and once you realize that you cannot do it alone, there needs to be a place where you can start asking for help.
New attendees come in exhausted, grieving the changes in their loved one, and carrying inappropriate guilt that they’re not providing enough or the right kind of care for their care partner. They need someone else to say, ‘I’ve experienced exactly what you’re experiencing, your feelings are valid, here’s something I have found that is helpful, and it is okay to take time for yourself.’ It is so important to know that you’re not alone, and that there are resources available for every question or concern you may have.”
Originally, Kleiva solely led the program; however, she realized it would be of benefit to have a facilitator with Dementia care and therapy experience.
Dr. Matthew Domico was recommended to her by a colleague. Domico is an Associate Professor at Lewis University (in Romeoville) where he teaches courses in psychology and counseling. He also had therapy experience and missed having a practice and was looking for ways to be more involved in the community. Kleiva’s invitation to visit and eventually lead the meetings came at exactly the right time.
The facilitator begins by asking whomever is newest to introduce themselves and tell others about what’s brought them to the meeting. More experienced members will often offer validation and support and suggestions. Everyone gets a turn to talk about what’s on their mind, ask others’ opinions, and even to ask other members’ experience with a particular doctor or hospital or caregiver service.
Domico often brings in prepared materials giving overviews of particular dementia related topics that members ask about. Things like what kinds of drugs are prescribed and why or what kind of care and evaluations they can expect different specialists to provide.
The biggest benefit of the program is the sense of community and perspective that Domico and Kleiva have seen longtime attendees gain.
“The resource sharing and practical advice that you receive is important too, but having a friend that you can call in the middle of the night or a group to go with you as you tour memory care facilities is invaluable,” Kleiva said. “My favorite thing about the program is watching caregivers learn to care for themselves to the same standard as they do their loved ones.”
The most common emotion people bring into the group is guilt, according to library staff members.
“They’re beating themselves up for not being able to be 100 percent perfect at a task that requires multiple nurses with rotating shifts to do at a memory care residence,” Keliva said. “They feel guilty that they’re tired, that they snapped at their partner, that they didn’t know how to handle a meltdown in public, that they are thinking of placing their person in a senior residence. Watching them learn how to be kinder to themselves, how to ask for help, and improve the quality of life for themselves and their care partner is why I will never stop offering this program.”