A remembrance service I won’t forget

So a few months back, when I was for the first time invited to a service of remembrance not as a news reporter but as a husband, I somehow did not make the connection that this one would be different.

In fact, I took it lightly—so much so that when the personalized invitation came from Foran Funeral Home, I set it aside and more or less forgot about it for several weeks. When the “day of” came last month, I started making excuses why I would skip the early-afternoon event.

Foran Funeral Home, 7300 W. Archer, Summit. –Supplied photo

But I changed my mind at the last minute and went with my younger daughter.

The program was held in the east parlor at Foran, 7300 W. Archer. The room was packed, yet comfortable: nearly 70 men, women and children honoring the lives of 26 departed loved ones of all ages.

Other than my daughter, I recognized no one else in the room except for perhaps Foran co-owner Sharon Jeninga, whom I’ve known for years not only as a leading businesswoman, but as a longtime, steady supporter of this community’s churches, schools and other organizations.

All 68 of us were seated facing several long tables of framed photographs of our loved ones. The lights went low, candles were lit, names of the departed were said aloud, we all watched a commemorative slideshow and heard useful words of wisdom from Linda Moran, an acclaimed grief counselor brought in by Foran.

But even before the program started, I figured out why I had set the invitation aside, why I had considered avoiding the event. The realization of where I was hit me square in the heart and wrung some tears from me. I remembered the last time I had been at Foran, in 2022. I recalled feeling the warmth of Joan’s hand as we comforted each other and mourned the passing of someone else.

(Joan’s services were also held at Foran, back in May 2023; but I was not there. I was hospitalized with a bacterial infection serious enough to land me in an Intensive Care Unit. I didn’t go home until July.)

Anyway, I see I may be rambling here, which is what I do when I talk about anything relating to Joan, even eight months and five days after her life ended. The nearly 40 years of love she and I shared will do that to me.

Last month’s program ended with closing comments by Sharon Jeninga. I expected a businesslike “Thanks for coming, drive safe, folks” send-off—especially from an experienced funeral director who does this kind of event every year. But Sharon spoke straight from the heart. Her voice wavered and she even shed a few tears herself. It was touching, and I spilled a few more tears in response.

In the end, Foran’s event, which they called “Getting Through the Holidays and Remember- ing With Love,” helped me do exactly that. And for that, Sharon and her team have my gratitude—especially since it was my first without Joan.

I’ve never quite understood Foran to be a place of healing. But I do now.