PTSD, it seems, is sneaky.
Those affected by it don’t always realize they are victims, and that’s one of the reasons it is so dangerous.
It’s also one of the reasons Sue Wackerlin, founder of Adopt-A-Soldier, hosts the annual Teal Star Ride. Her goal is to bring awareness and support for men and women affected after serving in the military.
James Wallace, 39, is one of those veterans.
He served in the U.S.Marine Corps, a Staff Sergeant, from 2005-2021.
“I joined as a 0341 mortar man,” he said, “but I had several jobs, titles, and positions during my career: Motormen, heavy equipment mechanic, small craft mechanic (boat mechanic), motor transportation, mechanic and operator (driver Humvee and seven ton) recruiter, foreign military advisor.
“I did see combat and suffered two explosions, but I was never hospitalized. I didn’t sustain any debilitating injuries. My injuries lay dormant for many years. I now receive VA care for these issues.
“I was not fully aware of my PTSD until I was found in my home by a friend, bunkered down in my basement,” he continued.
“I had no memory of what happened prior to him arriving. This was the first time I had sought out help. I have been seeing a therapist on and off ever since I returned from Iraq. There were several other situations prior that I should have realized something was wrong, but I never put two and two together.
“PTSD is not a curable disorder, but it can be managed with medication, treatment, and peer-to-peer mentorships.
“This has affected my life in so many different ways that it’s hard to fully explain, but over all it has affected my ability to conform to ‘civilian standard.’ I am able to fake it, ‘conformity.’ As they say in the Marine Corps ‘Stay Semper Gumby’ (Always Flexible), and ‘Embrace the suck.’
“My biggest coping mechanism is my family. I can’t pay my bills if I just sit in a dark hole. Working,” he added, “helps me alter my focus.”
If PTSD is sneaky, it’s also mysterious. It confuses those it affects, and frightens those who watch what it does.
“It’s everyday. It’s not one thing, it’s everything at once,” Wallace explained. Ninety percent of the time we don’t know what will trigger us, but when it does, it’s not personal, it’s a reflex.
“For example, it might be funny to scare someone and see their reaction, but it only takes one time – when that person has a thought or memory unknowingly triggered – you scare them, and they punch you in the face. Not so funny. It’s not personal, you just caught them at a very bad time.”
The young husband and father of a three-year-old daughter supports groups like Adopt-A-Soldier and “military mom” Sue Wackerlin.
“They do help,” he noted, “but I feel they are missing something very important. I don’t know how to say it, but I have talked with a lot of veterans and have asked them what group is the best. They all say, ‘They are all the same.’ I compare it to all the Branches – which branch is better? Depends on who you ask. It’s hard to develop an organization that can accommodate all the veterans’ needs, but if all these groups came together and combined their funding, that would be a good start.
“I met Sue many years ago through Adopt-A-Solider and have been one of her biggest supporters, until I needed her to be mine.”
As for the Teal Star Ride, he said, “The ride is a simple action/event – that’s it. I wish more people would show up and see the faces of these families.”